All I want for christmas is to be happy

Well I had a good christmas yesterday. I mean any day you wake up alive should be a good day rught? Im honestly thankful for waking up these days. But I really need to get out of this depression I've been in forever. This month I have only spoke face 2 face with 7 people. 2 of witch work for me. the other 2 my Doctor and her receptionist. The other 2, The women in the office I gave my rent to, and said what's Up the one of the janitors. the last was the driver that took me to my Doc's Appt. This is just not the life I want to live. I know somebodies gonna say "well stop living like that" I wish I could just living like this. Its been years and I feel I cant stop it.

I got health problems that adds on the the problem. I want to be the center of attention like I used to be. Ive been single for along azz time. I want a girlfriend But I have to be able to take her out and have a good time you know? If i cant that wouldnt be fair to do to my lady.
i dont know what to do right yet but Im tired of typing so I'll holla @ you L8R.